Saturday, 28 March 2020

Brazil - the inside scoop - Part I

Accidents will happen

Isn't it remarkable the things you discover by accident?  I'd said in a previous blog about Monaco that
Texas passes for the USA GP 2013
my entire life changed in 2003 by accidentally turning right instead of left, and another accident that's had a profound impact on my life was going to Brazil - by accident.  It rather took me by surprise to note that my 1st time in Brazil was only 7-years ago at the 2013 Brazilian Grand Prix.  I have been so often now that it feels much longer ago I had initially traveled there.  The 2013 season had a back-to-back final two races, Austin on November 17th and Interlagos on November 24th, so as I was in "The Americas" and given one of my stated ambitions is to tick off all of the F1 events on the calendar (almost there now) and given I had guests in Austin it all seemed to make perfect sense to go to Interlagos and "tick it off".

I'd actually had rather a nice time in Texas, I arrived early and went to NASA in Houston (nerd), San Antonio to visit the Alamo and Riverwalk and ended in Austin for the GP.  The race weekend was a lot of fun with the guests we had there and when the F1 was all over I was to fly from Austin to Miami to Rio de Janeiro.  From memory it was with United Airlines and was a particularly uncomfortable 10-hour-overnight job to Brazil, but anyway, Tuesday the 19th of November I would land at early-o-clock into Rio de Janeiro.

Rio de Janeiro 

I was probably slightly more familiar with Brazil than non-F1 fans, since I've been watching F1 has always featured both a Brazilian Grand Prix (initially in Jacerapagua now Interlagos) and loads of Brazilian drivers, some of whom aren't too shabby.  Emerson Fittipaldi (2 time champ), Nelson Piquet (3 time champ) and of course, the legendary Ayrton Senna da Silva.  I'd watched all of them, didn't care much for Piquet as he was a douchebag to Nigel but had a soft spot for Ayrton even though he was Mansell's main opposition.  I recall, quite vividly actually when he complained to FISA about pole being on the wrong side and that if they didn't change it he's simply not brake - then he did it.  I remember watching that at early-o-clock and being absolutely gobsmacked when he did exactly what he said he would do, and the confusion as to whether he would be allowed to keep the title or not.  Much like Schumacher who'd come onto the scene a few years later, cut from the same cloth of win-at-all-costs, and whilst I didn't and don't condone some of their actions, I understood that in the heat-of-battle errors in judgement were made.  Anyway, back to Brazil, I know slightly more about the place because of my F1 nerdibility, that being said and I have tried many times to quantify in my own mind the reasons, but Copacabana and Rio de Janeiro seemed....seemed to me like somewhere I'd never go it was somewhere 'out-of-reach'.  Maybe because of Ronnie Biggs, I can remember seeing Copacabana used on news footage whenever his
Ronnie in Rio 
name was mentioned and Rio seemed somewhere that I wouldn't ever visit.  Whilst I've been on longer flights and been to far less tourist-centric countries, there was a real incredulousness about my being in Brazil and there is still a part of me thinks like that.  It might be the same part that wonders aloud and often how on earth I ended up running my own F1 travel company, but nonetheless, being in Rio was really quite exciting to me.  I had, sadly, bought into the 'danger' hype that surrounds Brazil and in my mind I was expecting the place to be a cross between a Dundee housing estate in the 80's and the Wild West....(some might say those are one and the same).  You know, full of bandits and criminals just waiting for an unsuspecting gringo to cross their path so they can mug/rape/murder/kidnap/all of the above you.  What I have come to find during my dozens of visits is that Rio is very much like my own wee city, there are places it is wise not to venture late at night and there are other areas which are fine, I've found this to be the case no matter where I've been in the world, yet somehow Rio, very unfairly, has this rep about being a no-go-zone.


Her name was Lola.....

Avenue Atlantica and Copacabana from the rooftop of hotel
Anyhoos, I'd now landed in Rio, collected my case and jumped in a taxi to my hotel which was to be on Copacabana beach, namely The Miramar.  The cab ride from GIG airport to the beachfront is interesting, Favela's line the motorway and there is very little by way of 'sights' from the back seat of a yellow cab charging lane-to-lane on the highway route.  However, give it 45 minutes or so until you arrive to Copacabana via the crazy roads and tunnels and you are greeted with the most spectacular jaw-dropping natural beauty you'll see in any country.  Avenue Atlantica is the main road that runs parallel with Copacabana beach and when the taxi driver turned onto this road, and again I cannot really quantify this, but it seemed quite familiar.  The arc of the white sandy beach and the bluest of blue Atlantic Ocean lapping and an eclectic mix of buildings, some almost art-deco and some truly hideous late 60's slabs of grey concrete.  But the beach is just beautiful, nothing really I can liken it to because, somewhat ironically, I hate the beach.  All that bloody sand gets everywhere, like who wants to wake up in the morning with sand in their nether regions and all over the bed?  I am also not really one for lying about in the sun....so maybe going to a place iconic for beaches was a mistake?

So, I get to the hotel and am checked in promptly even though it is early in the morning.  Went for a
One of my favourite places in the world 
wee disco-nap, unpacked then headed to the pool on floor 16 of the hotel.  The rooftop of The Miramar is a spectacular little haven with an infinity pool, restaurant, bar and loungers.  Again, I'm not a particular sun-worshiper (hence my perma-peely-wally-skin-tone) but found myself at ease on the lounger of the hotel. I had taken a couple of books, my noise-cancelling headphones (normally reserved for screeching bairns on planes) and as usual in spite of me having more factor 30 than Superdrug, I'd forgotten my sun tan lotion.  I left my stuff on the lounger, went to get some factor 30 at the pharmacy on the corner and then back to this little haven of Rio.  I instantly felt comfortable, again I'm not normally one for sitting about in the sun, but I think a combination of "man, I am in Rio!", and "what am I doing in Rio?" and "Wow, this is RIO" was all dawning on me, but few places I have been to felt so instantly "right" as this did.  You know when you travel there are places that grow on you, places you don't care much for and once-in-a-while there are places that just jump out at you?  I've had the 'jump-out' thing in Sydney on my 1st visit, New York on my 1st visit, of course I had it on my 1st
visit to Monaco.  For me, Rio de Janeiro fell into this category of somewhere I had been excited to go to, did not disappoint from 1st impressions and felt right from day 1.  It is an an almost child-on-Christmas-day-excitement combined with a curious feeling of wellness and complete familiarity, don't know, maybe it is just me who gets this but having traveled rather a bit, the four places I've specified are the only 4 I got this feeling for, and Singapore too which didn't instantly hit me like this but grew on me with each visit.  All of the aforementioned places I've been I had seen on T'internet, I mean, who hasn't seen The Opera House, NYC Skyline, the Monaco hairpin and Christ the Redeemer?  Of course, seeing these iconic places in the flesh is far more visceral than looking at them on a screen, or back from the black-and-white-non-internet-days, seeing them on a postcard.  (Not that my mum & dad knew anyone who'd been to any of the places mentioned!)

Nirvana 
Back to my contented-excited-bewildered sun lounger, I would sup a couple of cocktails then went for the local "caipirinha".  Little known fact outside of Brazil, they have their own "whisky", a distilled alcohol named cachaca made from fermented sugar cane.  I've since gone onto find that much like whisky, you get good stuff and not so good stuff.  A capipirinha consists of few ingredients, just cachaca, sugar, fresh limes (mushed) and ice.  One of those 'easy-to-drink' cocktails which sneaks up on you, chilling on the lounger in 30 degrees or so scoofing several was fine and dandy until it was time to go for the loo and my legs wanted to go in a different direction to the rest of me.  I recall staggering to the loo smirking to myself "man, I'm pished".....so when I got back I did the only logical thing to sober myself up and cannon-balled into the infinity pool.  Scattered bairns everywhere.....ahhh....caiphirinas.  Oh, turns out you can also get caipirinhas whilst in the pool, the rest of my day was sorted as I was getting baked by the sun and smashed with the cachaca on this random rooftop in Rio de Janeiro.  I genuinely considered, and still do to this day, life does not get any better than this and the rooftop of the Miramar remains one of my favourite places to be.

As the evening drew in I headed back to the room, freshened up and with a caipirinha filled bravado thought; "I''m going oot".  I was aware of the danger because it is reported so much but went down a
Am I pished or is that made oot of sand??
wandering along Copacabana.  Had a couple of beers and a bite to eat, had another couple of beers and staggered back to the hotel late-ish.  And guess what happened?  Nothing.  I had beer and food and walked home....end of story.  I have repeated this exercise now countless times, well, if I was to count I'd say well over 150 times and guess what - same result....nothing happened except a drunk peely-wally-Scotsman got more drunk until his home-radar pinged and he went up the road.....and not a single soul raped/mugged/kidnapped/murdered or even sexually assaulted him.  (Not for the lack of trying on the last one btw)  So, you can believe the bullshit you hear or take it from someone who isn't known for being the most compos-mentis with too much beer, the 2 million plus people who visit Rio annually mainly come home with zero bad experiences.  Of course, much like Rome, Barcelona or any tourist-driven-city, there are douchebags waiting to take advantage of the tourist, but Rio is no worse than many places I've been and in fact, probably safer than several cities I've been to.

Misguided 

During my many overseas Adventures, I have discovered two great ways to see the historical sights of cities I visit.  I don't normally have loads of time as I am normally only there for a few days pre/post Grand Prix.  One way (and I heartily recommend this to everyone) is to go on a guided Segway tour; what a hoot these things are and you actually traverse miles of the city in a short space of time.  The other option is to get a guide to take you around.  Rio had no Segways so I booked a tour with a charming fellow by the name of Madison.  He would take me around the world famous sights of Rio and explained, in detail, each of the attractions.

My photo from 2013 of the iconic statue 
Visit one, early in the morning was the icon which defines all of Brazil: Christ the Redeemer atop Corcovado Mountain.  Again, we've all seen the images of this on any and every TV show about Brazil but to be up-close with the breathtaking views was nothing short of spectacular.  A term which is bandied about willy-nilly "spectacular", but at the top of Corcovado, with Christ looking over the city and the 360 degree views is the very definition of the word.  It is an assault on your eyes and I was actually silent for most of my visit letting my eyes drink in this rich mixture of sea, sand, mountains and favelas all spread among the lush green of this remarkable place.  I'd felt rather at home on top of the Miramar Hotel the previous day, and now I was just in awe of such natural beauty.

Sugar Loaf cable cars 
We stayed there for some time and I managed to avoid buying the souvenir stuff which laces the top of the mountain, and we headed for lunch then to Sugar Loaf Mountain.  He had asked if I wanted to see other stuff but to be honest, I was nursing a raging hangover (cheap cachaca) so only wanted these two.  We'd get to the all glass cable cars and off we went.  Little known fact is that there are two mountains at Sugar Loaf, and a two stage cable car journey.  Stage 1 takes you from ground level to Urca mountain where you disembark and wander around looking at the views, the thieving monkeys (actual monkeys) and restaurants / bars and also, much to my excitement, a helicopter pad with sight-seeing helicopters taking off and landing.  Went to speak to the dudes running the show and was told to come back in half an hour or so, went up Sugar Loaf and again took in the scenery (looking back at Christ) and was again taken with the natural beauty of Rio.  To my mind, there are few places in the world which have such jaw-dropping and spectacular natural beauty.  I am sure many would argue for other places being more beautiful but, to me there is nowhere in the world offers that breathtaking scenery....and I still think the same now after countless returns to Brazil. Once we'd seen the sights from Sugar Loaf it was time for my (relatively cheap) helicopter ride over the beaches (Copacabana & Ipanema) as well as a buzz around Christ.  It remains as vivid a memory today 7-years-later, again I was fairly silent for most of the tour with occasional outbursts of "WOW!"

Back to Madison who whisked me back to the Miramar and I'd now well and truly burst my Rio cherry.  I'd done more in my 3-day stop off than I had imagined.  I went out for dinner that night somewhere along Copacabana, had a few more drinks and staggered back to my hotel at whatever-o-clock, managed once again to avoid any unsavory happenings.  Almost as soon as I'd arrived it was time to go and for only the 2nd time in my life, I was more disappointed to be leaving as I was excited to be going to a Formula One race.  In March of 2009, Dave had taken me around the sights of Sydney and we'd had a whale of a time, I felt exactly the same leaving Rio as I did in 09 - if it wasn't for the amount of money I'd spent on the F1 tickets, I would not have bothered going to the race, I'd have much rather stayed in Rio.  That being said, I knew (not thought, knew) that I would be back, no idea of when but more than likely at the 2014 Grand Prix.  But, the next time I would certainly spend more time in Rio...definitely.
I asked the cab driver to stop as I left the hotel at stupid-early-o-clock for my flight out to capture this sunrise 
So, what's the message?

All my own photos too (except Ronnie & F1)
Obrigado and Saudé.
There are 2 other parts coming to this blog, one for F1 and one for Carnival which some will take as a must.  I have been to Rio de Janeiro a number of times and made some great friends out there, it is beautiful, it is safe, the food and drinks are wonderful and what makes Rio Rio is that when you are there you feel liberated, you feel a freedom you simply do not get anywhere else.  A lot of this is because of the people who live there, big-hearted friendly people.  You come to learn that the Favela's are not as dangerous as they'd have you believe, they are inhabited in the main by the chamber-maids who freshen your room each day, the guy serving you the caipirinha or from the waiter bringing you a humongous steak.  Sure, they are not for 'outsiders' in much the same way you'd not take a tour bus to a housing estate in Scotland and expect to come out the other end unscathed.  I've learned that Carioca people live for the beach, Sunday's on Copacabana & Ipanema is crazy with almost every inch of that beautiful white sand inhabited by families all enjoying their sun on their Sunday.  The people of Rio live for Samba, and I mean they LIVE for it, more of that later.  When the footy is on they all go nuts when Flamengo play and when they win, the city parties into the wee small hours.  It is, for me, easily the most wonderful place and 99% the people aren't there to make your stay dangerous, they are there to show you what they are rightly proud of, their beautiful, friendly and fun city surrounded by the most scenic beauty you'll get anywhere.  I've since been to several places in South America; Asuncion & Cuidad del Este in Paraguay, Buenos Aries in Argentina, Sao Paulo & Foz in Brazil and none of them come close to the vibe you get in Rio, it is truly unique.  Some of you might think this nothing more than an elaborate sales pitch now that I am running a tour company offering tours to Rio for Carnival and New Year, so here's my honest message:  Forget what I do for a living and book with another agency if you must, however, book a holiday to Rio de Janeiro you simply have to do at some point in your life, if you've ever had half an inkling of wanting to go to Rio de Janeiro, do yourself a big favour and make it so and I have no doubt, none, that you'll come back and be as enthusiastic as me about the place, the people and that stunning beauty.


Saturday, 4 January 2020

Adventures and ventures in travel part III

Ellis at the Galleria in 01 resplendent in her Ferrari t-shirt 

The holiday to Nice in 2001 was fab, really enjoyed it.  And even the drive to Maranello on France & Italy’s swooping motorways was a real adventure.  I’d saw the home of Ferrari something I’d wanted to do since Nigel drove for them in 1989/90.  I knew beforehand about Ferrari, of course I did, who doesn’t right? But I’d not researched much about the F1 team until it was announced my hero was on the way to the team, so I bought a book about Enzo and learned about the race on Sunday sell on Monday ex-Alfa mechanic who set up this remarkable empire of Italian sexiness.  The whole town of Maranello in Italy is all about Ferrari, as you’d expect and the Galleria / Museum houses some of the most spectacular F1 and road cars. 



As mentioned previously, because I was a superstar salesman at the time, I did not feel the need to book a hotel. I recall my then wife being quite stressed about it but I was like “nae bathir”.  The drive back from Italy to Monaco was around 4 hours and as each hour passed, so my excitement for what was awaiting me increased.  I was going to MONACO! Not just going, I was going to stay in a hotel IN MONACO. Even as we approached the little principality, and the road signs read “Monaco 70km” I was like “oooohhhh”.  You approach Monaco from up high, the highway literally being a high-way to Monaco and then some tunnels, and all of a sudden the actual city-sign for Monaco was there.  I was there.  Me.  In Monaco; and there on merit.  I cannot remember how I found it, but I ended up on the track and before I did anything else, I was driving that track! Sure enough I enter at what is Anthony Nouges, the final corner and along the ‘straight’ in Monaco which isn’t a straight.  And I am off…in my diesel 5 series….I am not a nervous person, not at all.  Driving test…no problemo, wedding day…. No problemo, the million or so interviews I’d been on…no poblemo.  The only time I can vividly recall being nervous was November 18th 1996 when Ellis couldnae wait to join the McLeod fold and that day in 2001 when I was on the track.  It is entirely illogical to a non-F1 fan but to me I was driving the Monte Carlo race track, something so iconic to and something quite honestly that should have been completely out-with my reaches.  I turned right at Ste Devote and climbed the steep hill to Massanet, traffic was as it always is in Monaco, shit but I didn’t care, I was on the Monaco F1 circuit. .  Then around to Casino Sq and to my eternal annoyance, the little  straight in front of the Hotel de Paris is closed for those rich knobs who stay there and their fancy cars.  So, I round the corner at CafĂ© de Paris and down the steep hill to Mirabeau.  Then, then there it is.  Perhaps the most famous corner in all F1, The Lowes Hairpin. 
Around I go and then take the next right and WHAM – the tunnel! I am in the Monaco tunnel……but hang on, this is totally different to the telly, whilst I know the telly flattens out the undulation, this tunnel is weird.  And then as my wee legs shook like a half-set jelly at the prospect my annoyance turned to frustration as I realised I’d taken the wrong effing tunnel.  Little known fact if you’ve not been to Monaco, there’s a tunnel before THE tunnel but in my wide-eyed-almost-peeing-my-pants-with-excitement, I’d bolloxed it up.  I recall swearing a lot and my wife looking at me all confused as to why I was so frustrated, she didn’t get F1…so the whole thing was lost on her.  Ellis sat in the back just looking out the window at this new place wondering why her old man had lost his shit….funny looking back.  I then entered realms unknown as I tried again to make my way around the circuit and found myself back at the start-finish-not-straight and repeated lap 2…but this time I made the right tunnel.  This was honestly Nirvana for me, I could have died at the end of that lap a happy man, probably my
Mirabeau Hotel which is no longer a hotel
ultimate ambition at the time fulfilled, and still to this day I cannot fully relay the joy and excitement I felt driving around in Monaco traffic.  Once lap 3 started it was time for a hotel and for reasons I forget I chose Mirabeau.  The negotiation was really short with the check-in agent.  She gave me the price  for 3 nights. Using all the skills I had been trained in, like a Ninja sales warrior I went into battle with her, telling her how lucky she was that I was choosing their hotel over any other, that I was staying for a whole 3 nights and a load of other dynamic reasons she should give me a better rate.  So, I paid the price she wanted and checked in….she honestly could not have cared less about my negotiation, it was “please sir, this is the rate, feel free to take it or you are welcome to not let the door wallop you in the arse on the way out”.  I am paraphrasing, but in essence that was that.  Another voodoo-esq sign of things to come, me Kenny McLeod negotiating with hotels in Monaco…. I did become a little more successful at it.

The following day I would walk the track with the wife n bairn stopping every 20 – 30 feet to take photos of one corner or landmark or corner! I loved it….I still do.  I make a point every year of walking a lap, as I have gotten older and wider, unlike the F1 cars my lap times are a lot worse now than they were in 2001.  I’d also go to find David Coulthard’s hotel in Monaco, The Columbus.  DC was with McLaren at the time and riding a crest, the car was competitive and he’d frequently be in the hunt with Schumacher and Hakkinen.  I love his hotel, very chic and has a terrific feel to it.  I remarked earlier about places
GPA & DJP & DC & KMc at the Columbus 
which have a ‘feel’.  Places I’ve been which have it; London, New York, Sydney, Rio de Janeiro and Monaco.  And DC’s hotel IN Monaco is quite a unique feel for me, I am a fan of his, I am in what is my favourite ever place and to top it all, the hotel is really cool! Columbus in Monaco would feature a lot later in my journey but for now I am marveling at being in Monaco.  With an extremely heavy heart we left to come home, and you know what my abiding memory was? How in the name of F do the cars race around these streets?  They are so narrow, in particular the little straight from Casino to Mirabeau, and I can hardly fathom that the place I’ve just seen in the flesh is the same one these fastest cars in the world compete around.

The original Monac03 Adventurers 
Upon returning I would regale my cyber-pals on the Formula1.com website about my visit to Maranello and Monaco.  They got it.  No one else in my social circle got it but these people on T’internet, they got it and fully understood my joy and fervour.  The chat around the thread was all about the track, the hotels, DC’s gaff, Maranello almost became a bit-part to the story such was the reaction to one of the group of my going to Monaco. And then, kinda out of nowhere I posted this life-changing post.  “So, guys I hope you all enjoyed my tales from Monaco, I’ve decided that in 2003 I am going to the Grand Prix, I have to see these cars in the flesh. I have chosen 2003 to give me and anyone who wants to join me ample time to save, let me know if you fancy joining me and I’ll crack on with booking it all.”  I didn’t expect as many people to respond as did, but in no particular order the original Monac03 crew consisted of; A couple from Canada, a couple from Florida, a dude from Memphis, a dude from England, a chap from Sydney, a guy from Paraguay and an ex-policeman from his own arse. (17 years later I still judge him as the worst customer I’ve ever had!)  The tour I booked, I have to say I was rather proud of!  Hire cars, karting in Nice, Maranello visit, hospitality at Monaco, Monza visit, transport from Nice to Monaco the whole thing start to finish was 10 days.  Much to my annoyance, one of the group had to withdraw from the booking, I know him as a great pal now and have come to realise that this is a regular occurrence for him. (If you are reading this you Paraguayan douchebag, you know who you are!) (Peru at Xmas my arse!)  So in January I called the company I had booked the
Mr Unreliable
hospitality with and asked them if they would refund one of the tickets….we’d bought 10 of them at around £1000 each but they dug their heels in and wouldn’t take it back.  I was really peeved with them, but they did me one of the biggest favours anyone has ever done, they were in business until recently but went pop with the demise of Thomas Cook.

I’d need more time to explain to you how much fun we all had in Nice, Monaco, Maranello and Monza in 2003 but suffice it to say I made some great pals many of whom I see regularly to this day, and but for the arse-cop I consider the original Monaco crew great pals.  We’d come back to Nice and dump the hire cars now opting for public transport (the train) to / from Monaco. I suggested getting the train to Monaco to a) walk the
The man who changed my life 
track before it was closed to become that iconic circuit and b) to find our balcony.  We had been sent tickets from the useless vendor but no directions or instructions.  Nothing.  So we went to Monaco all but my Floridian pals who had their bag nicked at the train station.  They had to go to  Marseilles to get new passports and as organiser I kinda felt responsible to go with them, but they managed just fine themselves and told me to just go with the original plan of heading to Monaco. Thank Christ they did, for it was this very day I’d meet the most influential man in my life since my dear old Hogmanay loving father – a charming and charismatic Parisian chap by the name of Joel Lepage.

Whilst in Monaco we found the building that we were to watch from by scrutinising the thumbnail photograph I’d printed off from the website.  Turns out we were in Panorama building which sits right on Ste Devote corner (turn 1).  We were a group of 6, so me being chief organiser says, “I’ll go up and have a nosey at the balcony see what the view is like, if they let me I’ll ask if you lot can join me”.  So, up to floor 7 I would go and as I exited the elevator I made what would be the biggest mistake of my life.  I turned right….no idea why.  To let you understand when the elevator doors open you can go only left or right, facing you is the corridor wall, I have no idea to this day why I turned right and not left, but this would be the rightest right that I am writing about!  I buzzed the door and a small, reasonably elderly lady half-cracked the door.  I did my “Bonjour, parlez vous Anglais” thing (thereby ending my extensive French vocabulary)  and she shuffled off gesturing with her hand a “wait” motion.  Then this English speaking, mid-50’s, perma-tanned, casual but well dressed fella came to the door. “Can I help you”?  “Ah, yes, I am sorry to trouble you as I know you will be working but we are here at the weekend with Airtrack for the Grand Prix, I was hoping to have a look at the terrace if that is ok with you”?  He could not have been more accommodating, shake of the hand welcomed me into his offices (he was / is a commodity trader, loads of computer screens showing all sorts of stuff I’d never understand in a month of Sunday’s) and then open the door to the outside terrace.  And I was stood there, breezy but sunny on this huge long / wide terrace looking into the Monaco harbour and directly about Ste Devote.  It was, not to put too fine a point on it, spectacular.  You know that word “breathtaking”.  Well – that.  And this chap, Joel, well he’s talking to me like we’re old friends asking me about F1
The Panorama Balcony (with GPA guests on it)
and was this my 1st time in Monaco etc; I ask him if my friends can come up and he enthusiastically agrees.  I can scarcely believe my luck, I’ve chosen not only a spectacular view but the guy is a proper gent too, what are the odds of that?  Anyway, the rest of the Monac03 gang join me on the balcony and sure enough, like me, they are blown away with it.  Joel goes and gets us all coffee and water and we’re shooting the breeze on his breezy terrace as he explains to me that he is really pissed off with Airtrack.  Oh……..my furtive imagination spots a wee shard of light…..I explain that I too am pissed off with Airtrack.  And you know, I have had personal experience of nothing uniting like a common enemy, and here’s Joel and me in essence, bitching like a couple of old fishwives about these wankers we were dealing with.  Joel tells me that he will NEVER deal with them again and takes me to show me a torn up carpet where the catering company had dragged a fridge in.  Turns out, he had a caterer he wanted to use and Airtrack agreed, then un-agreed with 4 weeks to go to GP instead bringing in a caterer of their own.  The caterer Joel used was a family friend, she’d catered his 3 weddings, his kids christenings, his grand-kids christenings, New Year parties etc and one thing I know now, and I know it from bitter personal experience, you never ever recover from insulting a French person’s honour.  He was very insulted….so…..I enquired quite off the cuff (remember the brass neck thing) about how much he charged.  He tells me and I divide the number by 60 (the amount of people this particular terrace caters for) and immediately think of the fortune I could make just renting this terrace on its own.  We leave the balcony later in the day and walk the track, and I would not stop slavering on about how I could see a great opportunity to do this as a wee sideline.  “Like, even if all I do is pay for me to get a free trip to Monaco every year, that would be awesome”.

So, how was this the biggest mistake I’ve ever made?  On Saturday we go to the Panorama Building
Panorama building in Monaco 
and I promptly head to 7D, the Airtrack staff are now in situ and look at my pass to tell me I am in the wrong apartment, in fact I should be opposite  in 7C.  “Arfur Fooksakes”, cannae believe how unlucky I am, but the others come to tell me the view is just as good next door whilst I argue with the staff.  I go through to 7C and sure enough, it is fine but I am a little peeved at not being able to further my chat with the charming Joel.  Not to worry, around lunchtime I am tapped on the shoulder and here is a puzzled looking Monsieur Lepage.  “Why are you in here?” he enquires to whit I explain I’d made a wrong turn out the elevator.  “Ahh, I see”, he grabs a coffee and we begin chatting again about F1, Monaco and bitching once more about the ineptness of the company we were both dealing with, him as a vendor and me as a customer and I uttered these immortal words; “Joel, can I ask, if I was to come back and see you once this madness is all over, would you rent your balcony to me”?  Now, nae due-diligence, no further questioning of me, no asking about my travel experience, no hesitation at all, he says; “Kenny, I like you, you’re a good guy, you pay me the deposit before Christmas (this is MAY!) and you can have my balcony – BUT you have to use Madame Baptiste to cater, if you agree, lets meet again later in the year and we make it happen”.  Then, a somewhat surreal exchange as I ask him for a business card, I am expecting a very thick, gold-leafed and elaborate card – nope, he scribbles his number down on a napkin.  We chatted a little longer but to be honest I was dying for him to leave so I could tell (show off) the others that using my sheer skill and wherewithal I had scored my own balcony in MONACO !  He popped off back to his office explaining to me that he’d not see me Sunday as he had friends over to his apartment for the race. (Little did I know his apartment was in the same building and had an even bigger terrace!)  I am now bouncing all over the place like Tigger on a cocktail of Red Bull, double espresso's and a O/D of Kamagra & Viagra, elated at being in Monaco, amazed that the F1 qualifying is about to begin and that me, Kenneth McLeod, has somehow or another blagged his way into Monaco and made a new pal – in Monaco.  Me? Me! HA! You know, even now I scarcely believe it.

Great pals from the Monac03 group (me with my DC cap on)
The rest of the trip to Monaco was a hoot, one of those “had to be there” experiences.  Even without the great fortune of making the wrong/right right turn this trip would still have been one of the best of my life, amazing people, amazing place and laugh from start to finish.  It would also mark the cementing of my friendship with Dave, we’d met before but this trip we really made the best of pals.  The amount of obstacles that should have prevented me from initially meeting Monsieur Lepage are incalculable, but meet him I did and as promised, I returned to see him in July.  We agreed a payment schedule and I gave him every penny of personal savings I had to deposit.  I expected an elaborate contract, but Joel did deals on a handshake, proper old school.  Whilst there I visited hotels in Nice, hotels in Monaco and researched the whole package aspect inside out.  I wanted to be the polar opposite of Airtrack, we’d pick you up at airport, we’d put you in a hotel I had personally vetted (the hotel our group had in Nice was awful, but made it more fun!), we’d run you into Monaco by luxury air-conditioned coaches, not the crammed trains, we’d physically direct you to the balcony (it is hugely complicated to find your way around Monaco during F1) we’d cater the balcony well, and we’d take you BACK to the airport.  Sounds really simple but honestly, in 2003/04 nobody did it this way.  No one.  I’d agreed rates and allocations with hotels (which turned out to be really difficult as all hotels in Monaco / Nice are sold out during the F1 – well, they were back then) I’d secured a balcony (one) and now all I needed was a website.  Oh….and a company.  So, January 15th 2004, at Companies House I registered Grand Prix Adventures.  Behind the scenes I had a marketing company build me a website, create a logo and I was all set to go.
The original GPA logo from 2004.
Copacabana 2020
I experienced the fireworks on Copacabana beach in Rio last night, saying goodbye to one decade and welcoming in another.  Amid the bangs, whistles and drinking frenzy I took a short pause to reflect on being where I was not long after I'd sent a wee Happy New Year message to the bairn, and it is absolutely not lost on me one iota just how incredible my travel journey has been.  Of course, a lot of the nostalgia I was feeling was part-alcohol-fueled but mainly driven by many of the memories this blog has brought to me, my intention whilst writing was not to be self-indulgent, nor to try and make it a "look at me" blog, I just wrote how I find myself where I am today, at 50-years-of-age, in Rio de Janeiro, looking out over Copacabana with a Bohemia beer to my left.  And it is surreal.  And for those who know this term as it is bandied around rather a lot, this is Dictionary.com's 2nd definition of the word; "having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic:"  Indeed, that for me sums this whole blog up perfectly, since meeting that incredible Parisian in 2003, since getting the job at PAC in 1999 with the laptop, which was only possible by meeting Jimmy Cairnie, which only worked out because I wanted to be a rep from working in shops, which only really happened because that greasy-hippy from Monifieth wanted to hacksaw my head off which all bizarrely happened because I loved that flying thing, the speed - that came about because some dimwitted-lunatic from Montpelier in Whitfield thought skiing was a good idea,and how in the name of F was I able to ski from the off?  How does that even happen?  Then the really random stuff; why don't I like football?  Why did I find cars zooming around and around a track so fascinating, then many years later, finding (stumbling) my way into that chat room on F1.com then meeting the cyber-friends (all of whom I still consider great friends), Richie Herkes being the MD of PAC at the time and more-or-less inviting me to Nice, and most important of all - taking the wrong-right-turn in 2003, since all of these bizarre happenstances occurred, my life has become surreal.  

Mr Destiny
There is a movie I watched many many years ago, an 80's movie which is actually a load of tosh really, however, there is a scene in it which to this day I cannot shake out of my head.  I talked of it recently with "the one who got away"....(we've all got one, that for sure is another blog....actually would form a part of the DJP blog) (and yes, she knows who she is) and during a drunken text exchange to her, I asked her to seek out this movie.  It is called "Mr Destiny" starring James Belushi and Michael Cane.  The premise is that James Belushi fumbles an important catch during his High School American football match, and he has a mediocre life.  He meets Michael Cane (Mr Destiny) one night and Mr Destiny changes that one moment in his life which then leads to an entirely different outcome.  Similar to the whole Sliding Doors thing, but I've always had that scene in my head, the Mr Destiny scene about how one small, almost insignificant thing happening in your life can take you on an entirely different journey.  He does it by pointing out little stars which take him on one path, he changes one of the stars and sure enough, the direction changes.  Almost all of the above circumstances outlined above had to happen to get me to where I am now and to have many of the friends I have now.

I am incredibly grateful for the chances I've had, a lot of it down to hard work, but some of it to luck as well.  Anyone in business who tells you that luck doesn't play any part of their success isn't telling you the truth, is a fact.  Do not misunderstand, by no stretch of anyone's imagination is running a business easy, of course many people think it is, after all, how difficult can it be to book a bloody flight and a hotel?  Indeed....like any business the best ones really do look very simple but most of them perform that worn-old-cliched swan day-in-day out of padding furiously below the surface whilst maintaining a calm elegance up top.  Not that many would describe me as elegant of course, but I like to keep a fairly upbeat and positive outlook on my life and my business even though below the surface there might be a massive storm that I am struggling to weather.

I arrived home the other day from a most incredible time in Rio, my great pal picked me up from the airport and as we approached Dundee I asked him if he'd mind a quick stop off before I got home, he didn't mind at all and I was transported back to simpler times and wondered aloud about the difference in my journeys - one in the back of the Viva for 17 hours or one in the front of a plane for 17 hours - the net result was the same.

A whole one, all to myself!

Happy 2020 everyone and thanks for reading x

Monday, 30 December 2019

Adventures and ventures in travel part II

My love of speed, from that plane ride in 1980 to Sauze D’Oulx would stay with me all my life, I’d leave school with a disappointing but predictable solitary O Grade and get into retail work via the YTS scheme. Well, not strictly true, my dad wanted me to be a mechanic (anyone who knows me will piss themselves at that as I almost set fire to my McLaren by putting the oil cap back on the wrong way) so I started a YTS course as a HGV mechanic, I lasted less than a week before a douchebag
Life changer 
from Monifeith wanted to fight me, legitimately threatened me with a hack-saw, I remember saying to him; “what are you gonna saw meh feckin heed aff ya bam?”. A scuffle ensued and the gaffer bloke came back and promptly sacked both of us. Another chance meeting with a long haired douche from the posh part of town that (mercifully) got me out of the mechanical path. Complete side-note here, but I remember seeing my dad as angry as I’d ever see him (pre or post this incident) when I told my parents they’d “over-subscribed the class so I was randomly picked to not continue.” With that my dad went to the mechanic-school to remonstrate with them, he was incandescent when he came home that day, I got a blustering lecture peppered with expletives and it wasn’t even Hogmanay! (Friday night) I stayed with a mate that particular weekend dodging the supplementary, longer and more angry 80 shilling-infused bellowing, however, true to form I got it the following Hogmanay! Deservedly so I have to say.

Again, meeting people who’d impact on me, I’d ultimately end up department manager for the dairy wall. (Milk, cheese, butter, yoghurt - anything chilled that wasn’t butcher meat) This job was well before central distribution so I would be regularly visited by reps to sell me the latest fromage frais or cooked meat promo. And these guys always wore nice suits (nice to _me_) and drove brand new cars.
How I wanted a piece of that but, as this is a blog and not a novel (it’d need to be a War and Peace-esq affair to cover the amount of jobs I went through in my 20’s) I made my way to sales via a stint driving trucks for Robert Wiseman dairies and a stint running a warehouse for a contract flooring company. Then I’d meet another chap who’d change the direction of my life.

I’d heard via one of the delivery drivers to my warehouse that one of the domestic flooring company’s was looking to branch into
contract flooring and they needed a rep. So, I’d don my only suit (the one I wore to my stag night) and went one early morning to meet the guy who ran this company, Jimmy Cairnie. He wasn’t there (I just went up on spec at 08:00) but when he came in I noted his red BMW with JC number plates. I went in 5 minutes after he’d arrived, eager to show that I was the right man for the job, and thankfully he was decent enough to see me. I’d walk into his office to him puffing on a More fag, he looked up and proclaimed; “f*%k me you’re early!” I was offered a coffee, a fag and ultimately a job, even though the sales director at the time wasn’t a fan of a “no-experience” sales guy taking the role on.

I truly felt I’d “made it”, whatever “it” is. I believed to the bottom of my boots that this was me now;
My 1st company car - Renault 21 hatch
on the road to greatness. Something I’d wanted my whole life was now tangible...a NEW CAR! I was a 22 year old laddie being asked what kind of car I would like to drive, and it kinda blew my mind. I got the car, but the job only lasted around a year, turns out the sales director was right, you can’t just give a guy with no sales experience a car, a pager (remember them?) a Yellow Pages (remember them?) an AA road atlas (remember them?) and expect him to sell shit loads of product. I did what I could but was ill-equipped to understand the sales process. But. Jimmy had given me something vital, my big break! I had a full 12 months experience in sales and enough wherewithal (bullshit) to blag into several other sales jobs, almost all of which would teach me the skills I needed to sell. One of them even had their own built for purpose sales training centre in Hemel Hempsted, their training was
Jimmy Cairnie would send me on a new direction 
amazing. But for Jimmy taking that chance and offering me a proper sales role (not double glazing or random pyramid schemes) I’d not have been given the interviews for the other roles, let alone actually get them! I’m still best of pals with his son Average Alan Cairnie, a very decent, honest and loyal (albeit average) guy.

The reason I mention sales is because whilst I’ve never lacked confidence, there are different sets of skills you learn in these roles, most notable are a thick skin and brass neck. I know non-sales folks think it is an easy life, swanning up and down the motorway in your company Sierra and your Burton’s suit (resplendent with brief case of course!) but it is not at all an easy way to make money. You spend most of your life in hard sales being told no. 95% no’s with 5% yes. The tenacity and mental strength you need to go out daily, weekly and monthly to be told no is indescribable to anyone whose not been in a hard-and-fast sales environment. In my 30’s, after all the hard sales jobs I landed some much more comfy (soft) sales roles which I found to be my Niche. Not the sledgehammer hard-close-sales role, the slow burn relationship building role, specification sales especially I loved, a challenge but hugely rewarding. I found the soft-sales roles quite easy, most likely because I was being told yes 90% of the time from existing customers. My last couple of sales jobs were brilliant. Making decent money, private healthcare, company expense account, freedom to work from home, (worked for company’s whose HQ’s were south of Hadrian’s Wall) great
"I'm a TIGER" (Sales techniques!)
colleagues, reasonably well thought of within upper-management , all in all I HAD made it. I’m now 34 years of age and have all the trappings of the life I never thought would be mines, nice house in The Ferry (the burbs where all the posh folk live) (well; all the posh folk and me) nice car, nice wages, wife, bairn, friends...traveled a wee bit and seemed to have just about everything I could only imagine I’d have. As much as I enjoyed the jobs I had, my overly-active imagination would always dream of running my own business. I guess maybe everyone has these dreams, these ideas but for me it felt, strangely, like a calling. Is difficult to quantify, I always knew at some point I’d be running my own company, no idea what that company would be, but at some juncture of life I’d click with the right idea, meet the right person and BOOM! I’d be an overnight success and instant millionaire. Sadly, only one of those has become a reality, I do indeed own a company.

A not dissimilar laptop to the one I had 
1999, not the Prince song but the actual year, probably the best job I’ve ever had was presented to me via a recruitment agency. PAC International the UK leading manufacturer of access control wanted a specification sales exec for Scotland. They had a guy from Newcastle covering the bases but they needed a full timer. Cue - me! I’ve worked for 3 great sales managers in my time, Norman McColm, Richard Gretton and Alan Cooney. If I was ever in need of a sales manager, Mr Cooney would be the 1st one I’d ring. Alan was the one who offered me the job at PAC, and I loved that job. Is probably the most successful I’d been to date with me busting target month/quarter/year-in-year out, which probably sounds like me stroking my own ego, but it isn’t! The role just fitted me perfectly and the autonomy I was given suited me. Some employees need a lot of hand-holding, a lot of praise, a lot of encouragement and others just crack on. I was in the cracking-on department, and Mr Cooney recognised this and left
me in peace. I was given great product training, had an encyclopedic sales-training manual in my ever expanding grey matter and off I went. With this job, I got my 1st computer; I had never seen a laptop let alone “own” one, but this was mines...wow! So, back home after the 2 week long training at Stockport I am now reasonably proficient with the computer, I’d open up my search engine (Freeserve) and set up an email account. All the “kennymcleods” were taken so I tried a few others, a definite sign, or maybe an omen of what was to come, other than kenny.mcleod@pac.co.uk, my first email addy was monaco7@freeserve.com. My second search on Freeserve was “Formula One”, and low and behold, “Formula1.com” had a website and this would take me a step closer to my “calling”, not that I knew that at the time.

How Formula1.com looked back in the day 
Back in the ‘90’s there was no Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram. Back then, bizarrely, people talked to each other. (A concept I know lost on many now) But, the “chatroom” on Formula1.com was a very early predecessor of what was to come. There would be around 2000 or so users of this chat facility which was obviously aimed at F1 enthusiasts. To be honest, back in 1999, I had one mate who was into F1, no one else I knew watched it. They’d all be talking about Rangers Athletic or Achtermuchty United or some other such team that kicked a ball around and I’d be all about Schumacher, Coulthard, Hakkinen, Villeneuve etc, it was rather a solitary conversation until I stumbled into this haven of like-minded souls. I had no real idea of what to do, how to reply etc, it was actually a bit of a tech-mine-field but the inhabitants of this F1 haven would guide me through it and I’d go onto be one of the more prolific posters. (Posting = writing into the group) The threads of conversation were brilliant, people from all around the world all talking about the particular F1 event of the day, and loads of them (posts and posters). Whilst there were thousands of registered users, there was a core of around 200 or so who would always engage in the chat. As creepy as it sounds, and it absolutely does, I’d go onto meet many of these strangers I’d encountered on the internet! I know with the various dating applications that meeting people from the internet is slightly less creepy now, but back in the early 00’s it was always awkward to explain “we met on the internet”. This era is pre smart phone so it was mainly confined to evenings and weekends, but I recall when Ellis was wee I’d put her to sleep and spend the rest of the night frying my 56k modem chatting with these cyber-friends I’d made. The chat would frequently go “off topic” and you’d find out more about the people you were interacting with, and by-and-large they were decent, professional people who happened to enjoy F1, I would go onto become one of, if not the biggest poster on this particular vehicle and indeed would go on to meet and form friendships with loads of the participants, in fact, the best friend a bloke could ask for was to be found on this very 'site my dear pal David John Parker.  But, that's for sure a blog of its own, would be an injustice to his memory to have DJP as a part player in this blog.

In 2001, the managing director of PAC (Richie Herkes) and I have a wee chat at a sales meeting
530 D - went like a train !
about the South of France, I’m giving a lot of thought to a holiday with the wife n bairn, but, it will ultimately have an F1 theme. He has a nice Nice gaff and waxes lyrical about how much I’d love it. So; 56k modem to the rescue and I book us a flight, hotel and car for my first ever trip to Monaco. The trip was to be 4 nights in Nice, drive to Maranello, 1 night in Maranello, back to Monaco and finish with 3 nights in Monaco.  I'd hire a 5 series BMW for all the driving, but not until day 4 of the trip once we'd got Nice out of the way.  Richie was to pick us up from the airport and take us for lunch, and true enough, he did exactly this and took us to The Negresco.

I'm not sure that in '01 the South of France was as big a tourist destination as it is now.  With Easyjet, Jet2 and a host of other airlines all flying into Nice, it has become increasingly popular, but back in '01 I thought it felt quite 'lah-de-da', a bit like Monaco really.  Full to brimming with people with way too much money, with wives young enough to be their grand-daughters and all dressed in gaudy designer clothing and all the trappings of their plastic surgeon.  And, I was partially right, there were / are a lot of these types but I found Nice to be quite the relaxed place which had a great vibe.  Having now traveled a great deal, there are places you visit and you "feel" something for the place, some places you do not and for me, ultimately it is the places where I "feel" that something in the local air that brings me back.  It was most likely the incredible lunch at the Negresco, you know what they say about 1st impressions.  Now, I was doing quite well at the time making decent money, but this lunch was....well....was not a lunch I would have relished had the bill came my way.  But Richie was a generous soul and just kept plying my then-wife and I with loads of chilled red Sancerre. Yes, Sancerre rouge fresh in the South of France is a thing, and turns out, a right delicious thing at that! And what can I tell you about the hotel Negresco, truly the most remarkable place that can only really be done justice by visiting it.  To this day, in spite of
Negresco Terrace 
having stayed at some of the most iconic hotels in the world over the past 17-years, The Negresco remains my all time favourite hotel in the world....it is bizarre, eccentric, very French and has more charm in its reception area than a chain of hotels could muster up in 100 of their corporate properties.  If you find yourself in Nice, book a lunch on the terrace and order some Sancerre rouge, fresh sil vous plais, you'll get my gist.

Via Nice and Maranello I would find myself in Monaco at the end of our holiday.  I had not booked a hotel instead opting to use my "brass neck" and "thick skin" to get a great deal on the day.  Bugger me sideways, how little I knew about Monaco! We'd get back from the fairly long drive and I'd see the signs for Monaco.  To an F1 fan, Monaco is Mecca.  Really simple, of all the races on the calendar, even though Monaco is often the least thrilling, there is something about the history of the place, the pageantry, the glamour and the whole drama of it all that puts Monaco right in the centre of any F1 fans radar.  I'd been watching this weird little track in this weird little place all my life, at this juncture for 25 years of my life, so to say I was excited about going to Monaco for the 1st time would be a huge understatement.  And that.....that is where part II has to end because writing about Monaco from 01 to 03 has formed what would go onto become the biggest Adventure of my life...
Monaco baby 

Part III to follow..............

Part III on this LINK


Friday, 27 December 2019

Adventures and ventures in travel part I


It is unfair to describe my upbringing as bad, because I had the most wonderful, loving and amazing parents.  They were very much of a different time (I was a late bairn) (you can use another word for late.....like the A in A&E) and their methods of parenting were that of a bygone era.  In essence, Mum did most (all) of the day-to-day parenting whilst Dad would say very little mid-week until "Hogmanay", (every Friday) when he'd return from the Hydro/Whitfield/Joey's/Burns clubbee full of 80 shilling of a weekend night and energetically, loudly and with great passion give me a lengthy lecture on my infractions from the prior week. Some weeks they lasted a couple of hours, but that would be a good week.  I had two brothers, one of whom buggered off to join the Royal Marines as soon as he could (16 - but he needed consent of my dad which he didn't get, so he lived with my aunt in Bristol - more of that to come). So, whilst mum n dad enjoyed their weekends playing bingo and drinking 80 shilling at either the Whitfield/Joeys/Burns or Hydro clubbee, they'd leave me in the safe pair of hands that was my middle brother - Ian.

Image result for whitfield 1970s"
Whitfield 1970s
This is potentially where my adventurous side was developed, stick with me here you'll see where I am going with this.  My middle brother was a local-king-pin in the late 70's drug scene and no sooner would my mum's words of "make sure Kenneth is in bed for ten" be echoing around our modest maisonette in Whitfield than the letterbox would be clattering with Ian's mates and customers coming to spend the night with "babysitter" Ian.  I could tell you stories of stuff that went on, but to be honest I was there and I don't believe significant parts of it happened, so little point in me relaying to you the sheer madness of a house full of junkies in 1977/1978 when I was but an 8 or 9 year auld kid.  But to put it mildly weekends with my brother were the epitome of madness.  Thankfully, mercifully, I had Ian's girlfriend Anne who took pity on me and sort of protected me from the maniacs that were now resident of my parents living room floor.

My middle brother's life of drugs would come to a sudden and abrupt end on the 3rd of January 1979,  when aged 18 the drugs lifestyle and took its inevitable toll, he'd be with all the wrong people, doing all the wrong things until one day it ceased.  It was a horrific time for my family, but I view it differently.  It is beyond any shadow of doubt a tragedy that in the 70's drugs (proper drugs, not the light recreational stuff that is so in vogue) were so readily available.  Police resources and understanding of drugs amounted to frequent visits to our house to read the riot act, my brother would spend significant parts of his youth locked up in a young offenders institution and then was awaiting sentencing to go to big-boys-prison when he died.  Tragic for all concerned, however, here's what might have been - my brother's drug-addicted-best friend would go onto become a local "celebrity" (notoriety) in the paper for one machete attack or another GBH/attempted murder,  regularly featuring in articles you read which only happen to other people.  He was not a nice man.  In fact, he was someone to give a wide berth at all costs, and my brother was worse.  There was and is a profundity in his death, something I only realised much later in life as his death played a significant hand in keeping me away from any substances not available 'over-the-counter' at RS McColls or Oddbins,   To this day the only drugs I've partaken in are tobacco and alcohol.  Not even Viagra.....yet......but that's another story for another blog.

During the 80's the same estate would descend into deeper unpleasantness with stronger even more readily available drugs, the uprising of the glue & petrol sniffing fashion, petty crime, serious crime and it became a bit of a no-go-zone for anyone not of the area.  Those around the estate at the time will understand what I mean. Of course, there were far (far) more good people than bad but as is the way of life those rotten apples and their influence and various addictions made for a real den of iniquity.

My mother and father both worked (and worked bloody hard) so I wanted for nothing, they probably  absolutely spoiled me given they had a little more disposable income from their jobs and given the tragedy they had faced with their middle son, but our family holidays would always be to my dad's sister.  Ironically, my mum had  a zillion sisters and a half-zillion brothers, and indeed that zillion-and-a-half all have 300 kids each, I think I am related to more than 70% of Dundee.  However, the one sister we would always (always) visit was dad's only sister, Auntie Christine and her husband Uncle Vic in sunny and exotic Bristol.  (Oooo arrrrr)

I can recall with great horror, borderline terror, the drive to Bristol during the school holidays in my dad's clapped out Vauxhall Viva (a delightful shade of erm....blue/grey. Imagine the sky when it is miserable...that sort of colour).  This is way before the motorway network in Scotland was anything like a motorway network, but off we'd venture on our 17 hour ++ voyage.  Sometimes 4 sometimes 5 and indeed, sometimes more than that all piled into "the Viva" for the "worse-than-economy-seat-on-Ryanair" discomfort to dad's sisters. Still, mum would always make a
Dad &the VIVA (and a dog in this pic - see it?)
packed lunch, sandwiches with only the finest Princes's ham (2% pig), boiled eggs (ripe), coop own-brand-crisps and an indeterminate brand of diluting orange juice with .05% juice and 99.95% water.  Such was the way, my mum and dad had money but every penny was a prisoner, my mum would make dad drive from one end of town to the other because milk was 1p a pint cheaper in Lochee than it was on Albert St.  Bizarrely, my father never once complained about the cost of the fuel to get there and back, so long as mum was happy with her cheap milk....the things you do for love eh?

Once I'd recovered from the torture  drive to Bristol, the holiday itself was always fantastic! Auntie Christine and Uncle Vic (Bristolian with the most peculiar sense of humour) had a massive 3 bed semi with a separate dining room and everything.  You know, like they were super-loaded....Uncle Vic always had nice cars too, and I recall with sheer awe and genuine excitement when he got his gold Ford Granada 2.8 Ghia X which had both electric windows AND a sunroof.  I shizzle you not, as an 8 or 9 year old laddie used to clapped out old Viva's, this car to me was like a spaceship.  Who the F knew you could press a button and the widows would open?  AND a hole  in the roof.....no no...in the ROOF! I recall getting a proper row for flattening the battery with the magic window button.  Turns out much later than a great deal of my uncle's wealth came from the back-of-a-lorry.  Now, I know that is normally a euphemism for some ill gotten gains, but in this particular case the term is entirely accurate as he was a long-distance-truck-driver who used to steal more than he delivered.  He would regale us of his mischief .... erm.... misdemeanors .......errrr tomfoolery...yeah, let's stick with that!  He would regale us of his tomfoolery many years later once he'd had one too many OVD & Coke's during New Year
I can recall, vividly, my excitement sitting in this spaceship
celebrations at my parent's house in Whitfield.  I'd be a grown-up by then (well, as grown-up as I can be) and would laugh at how everyone was on the take in the 70's, and they wonder how industry in the UK went tits-up! But I digress, I was telling you about the holidays to Bristol.  They were actually great! We'd get to go to clubbee's with the grown-ups, day trips to Weston-Super-Mare, Clevedon and Longleat Safari, all the while the weather was roasting. I'd go out to play and be told "come haime before it is dark" and off I'd pop to the local park and meet up with these weird sounding Bristolian kids.....funnily enough, we had a lot in common - I sounded weird to them too. One of my abiding memories of all those holidays, over all those years, was that when we got back to Dundee (we'd leave Bristol at 07:00 and get home 20:00) mum would always get us a fish supper from Borzoni's.  Well...that's not strictly true, dad got a fish supper whilst me and mum would 'share' one.  Mum; "Kenneth, you'll no be that hungry after your sandwich and 2% ham + ripe boiled egg + coop crisps right?".  It was a rhetorical question, I never replied until I was a surly teen......

Montpelier House back in the 80s 
Before I'd go to high school, I used to go to a "community centre".  How to explain this to those below the age of 35.....hmmmm.  It was a local authority owned building which was staffed by local authority personnel and volunteers.  The idea was to "keep the kids off the streets", you have to remember we only has 3 channels on telly and they all went off around 23:00. So, the community centre in Whitfield was called "Montpelier" after the French city. It was an old mansion house which they'd converted, downstairs would have a pool table and table tennis table on the left and a big room on the right which held discos every Thursday & Friday.  Upstairs was a kind of moving goal post, sometime a room for painting, sometimes a room for board games....but upstairs was shit, it was all happening downstairs, only the wee swots went upstairs to "paint". pffff...  So, Montpelier thought it was a great idea to have all these relatively impoverished council-estate kids take up a sport.  Have a
Oh how we laughed..... 
guess what sport they went for.  Remembering unemployment in the area was well over 50%, loads of DSS (welfare) tenants in the area and the great & good of Montpelier thought of a proper working-class, easy-access and cheap sport.  That's right, they went for SKI-ING! You know, at the time I didn't question it at all, just went skiing to the local dry-ski-slope and then in the mini-bus to Glenshee with my hired skis & boots.  But FFS, one of the most elitist and expensive sports in the world introduced to us bunch of ne'er-do-wells with our arses literally hanging out of our What Every Woman Wants jeans.  We'd take to the slopes not in any of that fancy airy-fairy-jackets and weird looking trousers though, people parading around in bloody puffy-PJ's and dungarees, weirdos, nah we'd ski in our jeans and 'winter' school jackets.   The swotty children would wear gloves and hats....pfffff.....(Lord, Glenshee -9000° on a warm day whilst wearing WAW'S jeans!)

Dundee Airport 
Nevertheless, it was Montpelier which first got this eager-eyed young laddie on an actual PLANE!  Mum and Dad weren't big on foreign holidays  ("why do I want to go on holiday and eat ah that foreign muck and end up on the lavvy for a week?!" was my Dad's rallying cry whenever Mum would mention Spain) so I'd never been on a plane, or in an airport.  I sort of think I knew planes existed but with Dundee having an airport less advanced than Trumpton, I don't think I really knew planes were real and tangible things that mere mortals used as a mode of transportation.  Nevertheless, Montpelier wrote out to all the mums and dads of Whitfield and asked if they'd like their kids to go on a subsidised trip skiing to Italy.  By sheer luck I took to skiing no problem, whilst all around me were falling on their rear-ends on that bloody lethal toothbrush-dry-slope stuff, scuffing their knees, hands and arses, I was poncing around like Franz Klammer (Google him) giving it "hey, this is easy"!  I was not present during the conversation with my mum & dad about me going to Italy, but it was agreed by the parties involved that I would go to Sauze D'Oulx with Montpelier.  Me, Kenneth McLeod would be going on an actual PLANE to an actual other place that wasn't Bristol....without my mum & dad! Memory banks not what they were, but I am sure from the dates that I would have been 11 years old, 1980.

Still marvel at planes taking off 
Between the ages of 11 and 22 I would be on 3 planes.  Yes, three.  One to Sauze D'Oulx, one to Mount Bergamo (skiing with the school circa '83/'84) and one when I was 22 to go on honeymoon to Orlando!  What I can tell you about all three was how truly magnificent I found the whole experience.  The excitement at 11-years-of-age even seeing a plane was remarkable.  Remember, I thought my uncle's Ford Granada was from outer-space and now here's me looking at these spectacular feats of engineering which really do FLY!   Also take into account that my dad's Viva was timed getting to 60MPH using a sun-dial.  Getting to the airport and simply seeing planes was true and unadulterated joy, but that initial impression would soon be confined to a file unreachable by my mind as I boarded for the very first time an aeroplane. The day I first sat on an aircraft one of my strongest memories,  I had no idea what to expect, I'd never seen a plane let alone got one one, never mind actually sat in one.  But here was me full of wide-eyed wonder at the row and row of seats, looking at the people who ran the plane in their weird army like uniforms and then sitting....sitting and I got the window seat! YES, .....better than a pools win.  The other two beside me were trying to negotiate 'shifts' in the window seat as 'that was only fair', they were told, in no uncertain I had the windee seat, so bugger aff. Then once everyone got on (which seemed like 40 days) the plane would push back and taxi out to the end of the runway.  Again, I had no idea what was coming next.  Zero.  I couldn't exactly Google "what is a plane like" because ... you know why...it was 19 feckin 80!  But what was to happen next would stay with me forever.  We're at the beginning of the runway, the two dipsticks to my right are still bitching about wanting the window seat, I've completely zoned them out as I am quivering with anticipation as to what is coming next. "HOLY SHIT!" as Captain Kirk (made up name) lets off the hand-brake, spools up the jet engines and we're accelerating to 100mph in what seemed to me like 2 seconds  The roar from the engines, the speed, the pushing back in the seat was all just totally bonkers and whilst everyone
Just off my Rio flight.... :) 
around me giggled as we took off, I remember roaring with laughter, not a nervous laughter at all, but one like "WHOOOOAAAAHHHHHH" ....then the  butterflies in tummies and little bits of wee in underpants as the nose pointed skywards.  That take off changed my life, I was hooked on speed and hooked on travel, not that I knew at the time of course, but looking back it is clear to me that on that particular flight to Sauze D'Oulx my on-going and deepening love affair with travel was born.

There are things which happen in your life journey which impact you and of course, people who come into your life some for the better some for the worse, but the experiences and the people go on to become formative to who you are.  I have been incredibly lucky (incredibly lucky) that the things and people I know as fact have impacted me have allowed me to change my career direction and make a livelihood. My love affair
Nigel majestically leading Monaco 1984 
with F1 began in the late '70's and was cemented during the 1984 Monaco Grand Prix which Nigel Mansell led in the stunning JPS Lotus.  Anyone who knows me knows my memory is shocking, but I can remember, vividly actually, watching this on BBC2 late one Sunday night (mum & dad would be at The Clubbee and I was 15, ergo, more than capable to look after myself!) whilst smoking away on my pack of JPS and thinking "oh meh Goad, Nigel is finally going to win"....he'd then go onto bin it...and in typical Nigel style
White Lines - don't do it 
blamed the white painted line.  HA! True story, this was when my obsession with F1 began, the following year BBC would show more live races, then '86 more again....so whilst I'd watched F1 in the past I wasn't what you'd call....obsessed.  I tried to think of another word to describe my involvement with F1 but that one more or less covers it.  F1 has been in my life for as long as I can remember and my love for it has never waned, my excitement for it has not decreased.  I've watched a variety of  drivers come and go over the 40 years or so that I've sat looking at cars go round and round but little did I know that my love of this sport would have such a profound affect on my entire life.

*End of Part 1
 
Part II on this LINK