Monday, 30 December 2019

Adventures and ventures in travel part II

My love of speed, from that plane ride in 1980 to Sauze D’Oulx would stay with me all my life, I’d leave school with a disappointing but predictable solitary O Grade and get into retail work via the YTS scheme. Well, not strictly true, my dad wanted me to be a mechanic (anyone who knows me will piss themselves at that as I almost set fire to my McLaren by putting the oil cap back on the wrong way) so I started a YTS course as a HGV mechanic, I lasted less than a week before a douchebag
Life changer 
from Monifeith wanted to fight me, legitimately threatened me with a hack-saw, I remember saying to him; “what are you gonna saw meh feckin heed aff ya bam?”. A scuffle ensued and the gaffer bloke came back and promptly sacked both of us. Another chance meeting with a long haired douche from the posh part of town that (mercifully) got me out of the mechanical path. Complete side-note here, but I remember seeing my dad as angry as I’d ever see him (pre or post this incident) when I told my parents they’d “over-subscribed the class so I was randomly picked to not continue.” With that my dad went to the mechanic-school to remonstrate with them, he was incandescent when he came home that day, I got a blustering lecture peppered with expletives and it wasn’t even Hogmanay! (Friday night) I stayed with a mate that particular weekend dodging the supplementary, longer and more angry 80 shilling-infused bellowing, however, true to form I got it the following Hogmanay! Deservedly so I have to say.

Again, meeting people who’d impact on me, I’d ultimately end up department manager for the dairy wall. (Milk, cheese, butter, yoghurt - anything chilled that wasn’t butcher meat) This job was well before central distribution so I would be regularly visited by reps to sell me the latest fromage frais or cooked meat promo. And these guys always wore nice suits (nice to _me_) and drove brand new cars.
How I wanted a piece of that but, as this is a blog and not a novel (it’d need to be a War and Peace-esq affair to cover the amount of jobs I went through in my 20’s) I made my way to sales via a stint driving trucks for Robert Wiseman dairies and a stint running a warehouse for a contract flooring company. Then I’d meet another chap who’d change the direction of my life.

I’d heard via one of the delivery drivers to my warehouse that one of the domestic flooring company’s was looking to branch into
contract flooring and they needed a rep. So, I’d don my only suit (the one I wore to my stag night) and went one early morning to meet the guy who ran this company, Jimmy Cairnie. He wasn’t there (I just went up on spec at 08:00) but when he came in I noted his red BMW with JC number plates. I went in 5 minutes after he’d arrived, eager to show that I was the right man for the job, and thankfully he was decent enough to see me. I’d walk into his office to him puffing on a More fag, he looked up and proclaimed; “f*%k me you’re early!” I was offered a coffee, a fag and ultimately a job, even though the sales director at the time wasn’t a fan of a “no-experience” sales guy taking the role on.

I truly felt I’d “made it”, whatever “it” is. I believed to the bottom of my boots that this was me now;
My 1st company car - Renault 21 hatch
on the road to greatness. Something I’d wanted my whole life was now tangible...a NEW CAR! I was a 22 year old laddie being asked what kind of car I would like to drive, and it kinda blew my mind. I got the car, but the job only lasted around a year, turns out the sales director was right, you can’t just give a guy with no sales experience a car, a pager (remember them?) a Yellow Pages (remember them?) an AA road atlas (remember them?) and expect him to sell shit loads of product. I did what I could but was ill-equipped to understand the sales process. But. Jimmy had given me something vital, my big break! I had a full 12 months experience in sales and enough wherewithal (bullshit) to blag into several other sales jobs, almost all of which would teach me the skills I needed to sell. One of them even had their own built for purpose sales training centre in Hemel Hempsted, their training was
Jimmy Cairnie would send me on a new direction 
amazing. But for Jimmy taking that chance and offering me a proper sales role (not double glazing or random pyramid schemes) I’d not have been given the interviews for the other roles, let alone actually get them! I’m still best of pals with his son Average Alan Cairnie, a very decent, honest and loyal (albeit average) guy.

The reason I mention sales is because whilst I’ve never lacked confidence, there are different sets of skills you learn in these roles, most notable are a thick skin and brass neck. I know non-sales folks think it is an easy life, swanning up and down the motorway in your company Sierra and your Burton’s suit (resplendent with brief case of course!) but it is not at all an easy way to make money. You spend most of your life in hard sales being told no. 95% no’s with 5% yes. The tenacity and mental strength you need to go out daily, weekly and monthly to be told no is indescribable to anyone whose not been in a hard-and-fast sales environment. In my 30’s, after all the hard sales jobs I landed some much more comfy (soft) sales roles which I found to be my Niche. Not the sledgehammer hard-close-sales role, the slow burn relationship building role, specification sales especially I loved, a challenge but hugely rewarding. I found the soft-sales roles quite easy, most likely because I was being told yes 90% of the time from existing customers. My last couple of sales jobs were brilliant. Making decent money, private healthcare, company expense account, freedom to work from home, (worked for company’s whose HQ’s were south of Hadrian’s Wall) great
"I'm a TIGER" (Sales techniques!)
colleagues, reasonably well thought of within upper-management , all in all I HAD made it. I’m now 34 years of age and have all the trappings of the life I never thought would be mines, nice house in The Ferry (the burbs where all the posh folk live) (well; all the posh folk and me) nice car, nice wages, wife, bairn, friends...traveled a wee bit and seemed to have just about everything I could only imagine I’d have. As much as I enjoyed the jobs I had, my overly-active imagination would always dream of running my own business. I guess maybe everyone has these dreams, these ideas but for me it felt, strangely, like a calling. Is difficult to quantify, I always knew at some point I’d be running my own company, no idea what that company would be, but at some juncture of life I’d click with the right idea, meet the right person and BOOM! I’d be an overnight success and instant millionaire. Sadly, only one of those has become a reality, I do indeed own a company.

A not dissimilar laptop to the one I had 
1999, not the Prince song but the actual year, probably the best job I’ve ever had was presented to me via a recruitment agency. PAC International the UK leading manufacturer of access control wanted a specification sales exec for Scotland. They had a guy from Newcastle covering the bases but they needed a full timer. Cue - me! I’ve worked for 3 great sales managers in my time, Norman McColm, Richard Gretton and Alan Cooney. If I was ever in need of a sales manager, Mr Cooney would be the 1st one I’d ring. Alan was the one who offered me the job at PAC, and I loved that job. Is probably the most successful I’d been to date with me busting target month/quarter/year-in-year out, which probably sounds like me stroking my own ego, but it isn’t! The role just fitted me perfectly and the autonomy I was given suited me. Some employees need a lot of hand-holding, a lot of praise, a lot of encouragement and others just crack on. I was in the cracking-on department, and Mr Cooney recognised this and left
me in peace. I was given great product training, had an encyclopedic sales-training manual in my ever expanding grey matter and off I went. With this job, I got my 1st computer; I had never seen a laptop let alone “own” one, but this was mines...wow! So, back home after the 2 week long training at Stockport I am now reasonably proficient with the computer, I’d open up my search engine (Freeserve) and set up an email account. All the “kennymcleods” were taken so I tried a few others, a definite sign, or maybe an omen of what was to come, other than kenny.mcleod@pac.co.uk, my first email addy was monaco7@freeserve.com. My second search on Freeserve was “Formula One”, and low and behold, “Formula1.com” had a website and this would take me a step closer to my “calling”, not that I knew that at the time.

How Formula1.com looked back in the day 
Back in the ‘90’s there was no Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram. Back then, bizarrely, people talked to each other. (A concept I know lost on many now) But, the “chatroom” on Formula1.com was a very early predecessor of what was to come. There would be around 2000 or so users of this chat facility which was obviously aimed at F1 enthusiasts. To be honest, back in 1999, I had one mate who was into F1, no one else I knew watched it. They’d all be talking about Rangers Athletic or Achtermuchty United or some other such team that kicked a ball around and I’d be all about Schumacher, Coulthard, Hakkinen, Villeneuve etc, it was rather a solitary conversation until I stumbled into this haven of like-minded souls. I had no real idea of what to do, how to reply etc, it was actually a bit of a tech-mine-field but the inhabitants of this F1 haven would guide me through it and I’d go onto be one of the more prolific posters. (Posting = writing into the group) The threads of conversation were brilliant, people from all around the world all talking about the particular F1 event of the day, and loads of them (posts and posters). Whilst there were thousands of registered users, there was a core of around 200 or so who would always engage in the chat. As creepy as it sounds, and it absolutely does, I’d go onto meet many of these strangers I’d encountered on the internet! I know with the various dating applications that meeting people from the internet is slightly less creepy now, but back in the early 00’s it was always awkward to explain “we met on the internet”. This era is pre smart phone so it was mainly confined to evenings and weekends, but I recall when Ellis was wee I’d put her to sleep and spend the rest of the night frying my 56k modem chatting with these cyber-friends I’d made. The chat would frequently go “off topic” and you’d find out more about the people you were interacting with, and by-and-large they were decent, professional people who happened to enjoy F1, I would go onto become one of, if not the biggest poster on this particular vehicle and indeed would go on to meet and form friendships with loads of the participants, in fact, the best friend a bloke could ask for was to be found on this very 'site my dear pal David John Parker.  But, that's for sure a blog of its own, would be an injustice to his memory to have DJP as a part player in this blog.

In 2001, the managing director of PAC (Richie Herkes) and I have a wee chat at a sales meeting
530 D - went like a train !
about the South of France, I’m giving a lot of thought to a holiday with the wife n bairn, but, it will ultimately have an F1 theme. He has a nice Nice gaff and waxes lyrical about how much I’d love it. So; 56k modem to the rescue and I book us a flight, hotel and car for my first ever trip to Monaco. The trip was to be 4 nights in Nice, drive to Maranello, 1 night in Maranello, back to Monaco and finish with 3 nights in Monaco.  I'd hire a 5 series BMW for all the driving, but not until day 4 of the trip once we'd got Nice out of the way.  Richie was to pick us up from the airport and take us for lunch, and true enough, he did exactly this and took us to The Negresco.

I'm not sure that in '01 the South of France was as big a tourist destination as it is now.  With Easyjet, Jet2 and a host of other airlines all flying into Nice, it has become increasingly popular, but back in '01 I thought it felt quite 'lah-de-da', a bit like Monaco really.  Full to brimming with people with way too much money, with wives young enough to be their grand-daughters and all dressed in gaudy designer clothing and all the trappings of their plastic surgeon.  And, I was partially right, there were / are a lot of these types but I found Nice to be quite the relaxed place which had a great vibe.  Having now traveled a great deal, there are places you visit and you "feel" something for the place, some places you do not and for me, ultimately it is the places where I "feel" that something in the local air that brings me back.  It was most likely the incredible lunch at the Negresco, you know what they say about 1st impressions.  Now, I was doing quite well at the time making decent money, but this lunch was....well....was not a lunch I would have relished had the bill came my way.  But Richie was a generous soul and just kept plying my then-wife and I with loads of chilled red Sancerre. Yes, Sancerre rouge fresh in the South of France is a thing, and turns out, a right delicious thing at that! And what can I tell you about the hotel Negresco, truly the most remarkable place that can only really be done justice by visiting it.  To this day, in spite of
Negresco Terrace 
having stayed at some of the most iconic hotels in the world over the past 17-years, The Negresco remains my all time favourite hotel in the world....it is bizarre, eccentric, very French and has more charm in its reception area than a chain of hotels could muster up in 100 of their corporate properties.  If you find yourself in Nice, book a lunch on the terrace and order some Sancerre rouge, fresh sil vous plais, you'll get my gist.

Via Nice and Maranello I would find myself in Monaco at the end of our holiday.  I had not booked a hotel instead opting to use my "brass neck" and "thick skin" to get a great deal on the day.  Bugger me sideways, how little I knew about Monaco! We'd get back from the fairly long drive and I'd see the signs for Monaco.  To an F1 fan, Monaco is Mecca.  Really simple, of all the races on the calendar, even though Monaco is often the least thrilling, there is something about the history of the place, the pageantry, the glamour and the whole drama of it all that puts Monaco right in the centre of any F1 fans radar.  I'd been watching this weird little track in this weird little place all my life, at this juncture for 25 years of my life, so to say I was excited about going to Monaco for the 1st time would be a huge understatement.  And that.....that is where part II has to end because writing about Monaco from 01 to 03 has formed what would go onto become the biggest Adventure of my life...
Monaco baby 

Part III to follow..............

Part III on this LINK


Friday, 27 December 2019

Adventures and ventures in travel part I


It is unfair to describe my upbringing as bad, because I had the most wonderful, loving and amazing parents.  They were very much of a different time (I was a late bairn) (you can use another word for late.....like the A in A&E) and their methods of parenting were that of a bygone era.  In essence, Mum did most (all) of the day-to-day parenting whilst Dad would say very little mid-week until "Hogmanay", (every Friday) when he'd return from the Hydro/Whitfield/Joey's/Burns clubbee full of 80 shilling of a weekend night and energetically, loudly and with great passion give me a lengthy lecture on my infractions from the prior week. Some weeks they lasted a couple of hours, but that would be a good week.  I had two brothers, one of whom buggered off to join the Royal Marines as soon as he could (16 - but he needed consent of my dad which he didn't get, so he lived with my aunt in Bristol - more of that to come). So, whilst mum n dad enjoyed their weekends playing bingo and drinking 80 shilling at either the Whitfield/Joeys/Burns or Hydro clubbee, they'd leave me in the safe pair of hands that was my middle brother - Ian.

Image result for whitfield 1970s"
Whitfield 1970s
This is potentially where my adventurous side was developed, stick with me here you'll see where I am going with this.  My middle brother was a local-king-pin in the late 70's drug scene and no sooner would my mum's words of "make sure Kenneth is in bed for ten" be echoing around our modest maisonette in Whitfield than the letterbox would be clattering with Ian's mates and customers coming to spend the night with "babysitter" Ian.  I could tell you stories of stuff that went on, but to be honest I was there and I don't believe significant parts of it happened, so little point in me relaying to you the sheer madness of a house full of junkies in 1977/1978 when I was but an 8 or 9 year auld kid.  But to put it mildly weekends with my brother were the epitome of madness.  Thankfully, mercifully, I had Ian's girlfriend Anne who took pity on me and sort of protected me from the maniacs that were now resident of my parents living room floor.

My middle brother's life of drugs would come to a sudden and abrupt end on the 3rd of January 1979,  when aged 18 the drugs lifestyle and took its inevitable toll, he'd be with all the wrong people, doing all the wrong things until one day it ceased.  It was a horrific time for my family, but I view it differently.  It is beyond any shadow of doubt a tragedy that in the 70's drugs (proper drugs, not the light recreational stuff that is so in vogue) were so readily available.  Police resources and understanding of drugs amounted to frequent visits to our house to read the riot act, my brother would spend significant parts of his youth locked up in a young offenders institution and then was awaiting sentencing to go to big-boys-prison when he died.  Tragic for all concerned, however, here's what might have been - my brother's drug-addicted-best friend would go onto become a local "celebrity" (notoriety) in the paper for one machete attack or another GBH/attempted murder,  regularly featuring in articles you read which only happen to other people.  He was not a nice man.  In fact, he was someone to give a wide berth at all costs, and my brother was worse.  There was and is a profundity in his death, something I only realised much later in life as his death played a significant hand in keeping me away from any substances not available 'over-the-counter' at RS McColls or Oddbins,   To this day the only drugs I've partaken in are tobacco and alcohol.  Not even Viagra.....yet......but that's another story for another blog.

During the 80's the same estate would descend into deeper unpleasantness with stronger even more readily available drugs, the uprising of the glue & petrol sniffing fashion, petty crime, serious crime and it became a bit of a no-go-zone for anyone not of the area.  Those around the estate at the time will understand what I mean. Of course, there were far (far) more good people than bad but as is the way of life those rotten apples and their influence and various addictions made for a real den of iniquity.

My mother and father both worked (and worked bloody hard) so I wanted for nothing, they probably  absolutely spoiled me given they had a little more disposable income from their jobs and given the tragedy they had faced with their middle son, but our family holidays would always be to my dad's sister.  Ironically, my mum had  a zillion sisters and a half-zillion brothers, and indeed that zillion-and-a-half all have 300 kids each, I think I am related to more than 70% of Dundee.  However, the one sister we would always (always) visit was dad's only sister, Auntie Christine and her husband Uncle Vic in sunny and exotic Bristol.  (Oooo arrrrr)

I can recall with great horror, borderline terror, the drive to Bristol during the school holidays in my dad's clapped out Vauxhall Viva (a delightful shade of erm....blue/grey. Imagine the sky when it is miserable...that sort of colour).  This is way before the motorway network in Scotland was anything like a motorway network, but off we'd venture on our 17 hour ++ voyage.  Sometimes 4 sometimes 5 and indeed, sometimes more than that all piled into "the Viva" for the "worse-than-economy-seat-on-Ryanair" discomfort to dad's sisters. Still, mum would always make a
Dad &the VIVA (and a dog in this pic - see it?)
packed lunch, sandwiches with only the finest Princes's ham (2% pig), boiled eggs (ripe), coop own-brand-crisps and an indeterminate brand of diluting orange juice with .05% juice and 99.95% water.  Such was the way, my mum and dad had money but every penny was a prisoner, my mum would make dad drive from one end of town to the other because milk was 1p a pint cheaper in Lochee than it was on Albert St.  Bizarrely, my father never once complained about the cost of the fuel to get there and back, so long as mum was happy with her cheap milk....the things you do for love eh?

Once I'd recovered from the torture  drive to Bristol, the holiday itself was always fantastic! Auntie Christine and Uncle Vic (Bristolian with the most peculiar sense of humour) had a massive 3 bed semi with a separate dining room and everything.  You know, like they were super-loaded....Uncle Vic always had nice cars too, and I recall with sheer awe and genuine excitement when he got his gold Ford Granada 2.8 Ghia X which had both electric windows AND a sunroof.  I shizzle you not, as an 8 or 9 year old laddie used to clapped out old Viva's, this car to me was like a spaceship.  Who the F knew you could press a button and the widows would open?  AND a hole  in the roof.....no no...in the ROOF! I recall getting a proper row for flattening the battery with the magic window button.  Turns out much later than a great deal of my uncle's wealth came from the back-of-a-lorry.  Now, I know that is normally a euphemism for some ill gotten gains, but in this particular case the term is entirely accurate as he was a long-distance-truck-driver who used to steal more than he delivered.  He would regale us of his mischief .... erm.... misdemeanors .......errrr tomfoolery...yeah, let's stick with that!  He would regale us of his tomfoolery many years later once he'd had one too many OVD & Coke's during New Year
I can recall, vividly, my excitement sitting in this spaceship
celebrations at my parent's house in Whitfield.  I'd be a grown-up by then (well, as grown-up as I can be) and would laugh at how everyone was on the take in the 70's, and they wonder how industry in the UK went tits-up! But I digress, I was telling you about the holidays to Bristol.  They were actually great! We'd get to go to clubbee's with the grown-ups, day trips to Weston-Super-Mare, Clevedon and Longleat Safari, all the while the weather was roasting. I'd go out to play and be told "come haime before it is dark" and off I'd pop to the local park and meet up with these weird sounding Bristolian kids.....funnily enough, we had a lot in common - I sounded weird to them too. One of my abiding memories of all those holidays, over all those years, was that when we got back to Dundee (we'd leave Bristol at 07:00 and get home 20:00) mum would always get us a fish supper from Borzoni's.  Well...that's not strictly true, dad got a fish supper whilst me and mum would 'share' one.  Mum; "Kenneth, you'll no be that hungry after your sandwich and 2% ham + ripe boiled egg + coop crisps right?".  It was a rhetorical question, I never replied until I was a surly teen......

Montpelier House back in the 80s 
Before I'd go to high school, I used to go to a "community centre".  How to explain this to those below the age of 35.....hmmmm.  It was a local authority owned building which was staffed by local authority personnel and volunteers.  The idea was to "keep the kids off the streets", you have to remember we only has 3 channels on telly and they all went off around 23:00. So, the community centre in Whitfield was called "Montpelier" after the French city. It was an old mansion house which they'd converted, downstairs would have a pool table and table tennis table on the left and a big room on the right which held discos every Thursday & Friday.  Upstairs was a kind of moving goal post, sometime a room for painting, sometimes a room for board games....but upstairs was shit, it was all happening downstairs, only the wee swots went upstairs to "paint". pffff...  So, Montpelier thought it was a great idea to have all these relatively impoverished council-estate kids take up a sport.  Have a
Oh how we laughed..... 
guess what sport they went for.  Remembering unemployment in the area was well over 50%, loads of DSS (welfare) tenants in the area and the great & good of Montpelier thought of a proper working-class, easy-access and cheap sport.  That's right, they went for SKI-ING! You know, at the time I didn't question it at all, just went skiing to the local dry-ski-slope and then in the mini-bus to Glenshee with my hired skis & boots.  But FFS, one of the most elitist and expensive sports in the world introduced to us bunch of ne'er-do-wells with our arses literally hanging out of our What Every Woman Wants jeans.  We'd take to the slopes not in any of that fancy airy-fairy-jackets and weird looking trousers though, people parading around in bloody puffy-PJ's and dungarees, weirdos, nah we'd ski in our jeans and 'winter' school jackets.   The swotty children would wear gloves and hats....pfffff.....(Lord, Glenshee -9000° on a warm day whilst wearing WAW'S jeans!)

Dundee Airport 
Nevertheless, it was Montpelier which first got this eager-eyed young laddie on an actual PLANE!  Mum and Dad weren't big on foreign holidays  ("why do I want to go on holiday and eat ah that foreign muck and end up on the lavvy for a week?!" was my Dad's rallying cry whenever Mum would mention Spain) so I'd never been on a plane, or in an airport.  I sort of think I knew planes existed but with Dundee having an airport less advanced than Trumpton, I don't think I really knew planes were real and tangible things that mere mortals used as a mode of transportation.  Nevertheless, Montpelier wrote out to all the mums and dads of Whitfield and asked if they'd like their kids to go on a subsidised trip skiing to Italy.  By sheer luck I took to skiing no problem, whilst all around me were falling on their rear-ends on that bloody lethal toothbrush-dry-slope stuff, scuffing their knees, hands and arses, I was poncing around like Franz Klammer (Google him) giving it "hey, this is easy"!  I was not present during the conversation with my mum & dad about me going to Italy, but it was agreed by the parties involved that I would go to Sauze D'Oulx with Montpelier.  Me, Kenneth McLeod would be going on an actual PLANE to an actual other place that wasn't Bristol....without my mum & dad! Memory banks not what they were, but I am sure from the dates that I would have been 11 years old, 1980.

Still marvel at planes taking off 
Between the ages of 11 and 22 I would be on 3 planes.  Yes, three.  One to Sauze D'Oulx, one to Mount Bergamo (skiing with the school circa '83/'84) and one when I was 22 to go on honeymoon to Orlando!  What I can tell you about all three was how truly magnificent I found the whole experience.  The excitement at 11-years-of-age even seeing a plane was remarkable.  Remember, I thought my uncle's Ford Granada was from outer-space and now here's me looking at these spectacular feats of engineering which really do FLY!   Also take into account that my dad's Viva was timed getting to 60MPH using a sun-dial.  Getting to the airport and simply seeing planes was true and unadulterated joy, but that initial impression would soon be confined to a file unreachable by my mind as I boarded for the very first time an aeroplane. The day I first sat on an aircraft one of my strongest memories,  I had no idea what to expect, I'd never seen a plane let alone got one one, never mind actually sat in one.  But here was me full of wide-eyed wonder at the row and row of seats, looking at the people who ran the plane in their weird army like uniforms and then sitting....sitting and I got the window seat! YES, .....better than a pools win.  The other two beside me were trying to negotiate 'shifts' in the window seat as 'that was only fair', they were told, in no uncertain I had the windee seat, so bugger aff. Then once everyone got on (which seemed like 40 days) the plane would push back and taxi out to the end of the runway.  Again, I had no idea what was coming next.  Zero.  I couldn't exactly Google "what is a plane like" because ... you know why...it was 19 feckin 80!  But what was to happen next would stay with me forever.  We're at the beginning of the runway, the two dipsticks to my right are still bitching about wanting the window seat, I've completely zoned them out as I am quivering with anticipation as to what is coming next. "HOLY SHIT!" as Captain Kirk (made up name) lets off the hand-brake, spools up the jet engines and we're accelerating to 100mph in what seemed to me like 2 seconds  The roar from the engines, the speed, the pushing back in the seat was all just totally bonkers and whilst everyone
Just off my Rio flight.... :) 
around me giggled as we took off, I remember roaring with laughter, not a nervous laughter at all, but one like "WHOOOOAAAAHHHHHH" ....then the  butterflies in tummies and little bits of wee in underpants as the nose pointed skywards.  That take off changed my life, I was hooked on speed and hooked on travel, not that I knew at the time of course, but looking back it is clear to me that on that particular flight to Sauze D'Oulx my on-going and deepening love affair with travel was born.

There are things which happen in your life journey which impact you and of course, people who come into your life some for the better some for the worse, but the experiences and the people go on to become formative to who you are.  I have been incredibly lucky (incredibly lucky) that the things and people I know as fact have impacted me have allowed me to change my career direction and make a livelihood. My love affair
Nigel majestically leading Monaco 1984 
with F1 began in the late '70's and was cemented during the 1984 Monaco Grand Prix which Nigel Mansell led in the stunning JPS Lotus.  Anyone who knows me knows my memory is shocking, but I can remember, vividly actually, watching this on BBC2 late one Sunday night (mum & dad would be at The Clubbee and I was 15, ergo, more than capable to look after myself!) whilst smoking away on my pack of JPS and thinking "oh meh Goad, Nigel is finally going to win"....he'd then go onto bin it...and in typical Nigel style
White Lines - don't do it 
blamed the white painted line.  HA! True story, this was when my obsession with F1 began, the following year BBC would show more live races, then '86 more again....so whilst I'd watched F1 in the past I wasn't what you'd call....obsessed.  I tried to think of another word to describe my involvement with F1 but that one more or less covers it.  F1 has been in my life for as long as I can remember and my love for it has never waned, my excitement for it has not decreased.  I've watched a variety of  drivers come and go over the 40 years or so that I've sat looking at cars go round and round but little did I know that my love of this sport would have such a profound affect on my entire life.

*End of Part 1
 
Part II on this LINK

Thursday, 18 July 2019

Fans-eye F1 2021

I write this as someone who watches every race and qualifying session live and who still wants to see the sport offer up more than it currently does. Before I offer my opinions on a sport I've watched for over 40 years, some of what I've actually witnessed below:
  • Williams' 1st (and every subsequent) title with Alan Jones (I liked Jonesy)
    1991
  • Senna's 1st race and all his races & titles
  • 1988 when the MP4/4 won 15 / 16 races
  • The Prost / Senna rivalry 
  • Honda dominating
  • Williams un-retiring Nigel and the hugely dominant FW14B
  • Renault's V10 dominating in the Benetton and Williams
  • Williams 96 & 97's dominant car For Damon and Jacques
  • V12's, V10's, V8's, turbo's, N/A and now V6 Hybrids
  • McLaren Mercedes
  • Ferrari/Schumacher/Todt/Brawn/Byrne and the 5-on-the-bounce 
    THAT rivalry 
  • Michelin dominating
  • Grooved tyres (what a mess)
  • Refuelling stops
  • 2.4 V8's
Alan Jones 
So, in my years of watching I've seen a lot of teams, engines and drivers grab the limelight and run off with the titles.  But, in all those years, with the possible exception of 88 & 92, the chasing teams were closer, they had more of a chance of taking 'scraps'when the lead team didn't win.  This season in particular, or since the introduction of the V6 Hybrid, Mercedes dominance has been crushing.  Their speed in qualifying, their race pace and their reliability has destroyed any competition from the sport, albeit Ferrari had more of a go at it last year but somehow manged to shoot themselves in both Italian loafers as only they can.
Image result for mercedes f1
THE most dominant car in F1 ever

I do NOT subscribe to the current Playstation thinking that F1 has to be about overtaking.  Some of the best races I've seen have been with Driver A defending successfully from a faster driver B.  A famous example of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT6VkYUFSzw 






So, the 2021 rules and if I were able to have any influence, these would be my suggestions:
  • Change the weekend format:  As someone who has attended over 80 Grand Prix, I no longer attend the Friday practice sessions, they are meaningless/pointless.  I'll revisit what to do on Friday's a little later as it is a complicated but workable solution.  
  • Change the cars: The new blueprint looks about right, in fairness to Mr Brawn, he will know significantly more about aero and how to make one car follow another a lot better than I.
  • Image result for new 2021 f1 cars
    Why don't F1 cars look like this??
  • Drop DRS: Overtaking for overtaking's sake is not why I watch F1, driver A should NOT be able to pass driver B with a 20km speed advantage on the straight. I'd much rather see driver A have to really work on passing into a braking zone over a number of laps, this is what keeps you on the edge of your seat; it is watching the chase, the hunt and then the pounce. With the new aero on the cars I am hopeful this will indeed happen.
  • Engines: I do not fully understand why the sport was forced  to capitulate to the engine manufacturers in 2013, I presume there was some internal reason I am unaware of. So, now the new owners have a clean slate opportunity, they must wrestle control back from them, in my opinion the sport is in its current depleted state largely due to fans losing interest in one team dominating like no other and an uninspiring track-side experience.  My 1st GP at Stowe corner in 1999 I can still recall the visceral sensations of the cars, Monaco 03 my rib cage vibrating as I watched
    F1 Hybrid 
    from the side terrace of the CafĂ© de Paris, and now we have a low decibel and actually unappealing V6 hybrid format.  Ask any car nut about a car which they aspire to own and none of them will feature a 1.6 engine.  Make the engines far less complex and a lot cheaper for the non-works teams.  And, if it isn't already in the statute books, when the engine manufacturer finds an upgrade they can only introduce it to every engine on the grid.  Engine manufacturers should also be compelled to supply at least one other team in addition to their own and at a set price. (EG Renualt, Honda, Mercedes & Ferrari agree a price of $x.xx per unit with the customer team giving their engine partner a prominent decal/ branding on the car engine cover)  I firmly believe the teams would be AOK to be renamed "Haas Ferrari" / "Williams Mercedes" and so on if they could get the engines for a reasonable cost.
  • Tyres: Allow as many tyre manufacturers into the sport as want to be in it.  If Michelin/Goodyear/Firestone/Continental want to come and supply even one team, let them! I recall vividly Budapest in 1997 with Damon Hill in the Bridgestone shod Arrows almost winning because of his tyre advantage. From memory, tell me the last time F1 had an 'unexpected winner'? (Hint, he is a Venezuelan who crashed a lot)  Also, tyres
    should not be manufactured to degrade, they should be able to last an entire Grand Prix should the driver wish to do a full race on one set, however, changing onto a new tyre should be worth at least one second per lap.  This is surely doable with a really sticky tyre which loses around 3 to 4 tenths per lap in performance for the 1st 20 laps or so then it balances out to a 'race pace'.  This could and should lead to more strategy calls of: 0/1/2/3 stops depending on circuit and would again lead to driver B hunting down driver A for position on fresher rubber, potentially offering a grandstand end to a GP.
  • Fridays: Before I delve into this one, it is the most radical but also the most sensible to attract new fans and I shall cite Holland as my example.  Before Max Verstappen's rise, Dutch fans were into F1 in a modest way, now we have seas of orange at all the European GP and indeed we're going back to Zandvoort. Why?  Because Max has captured a nations interest.  So, what that demonstrates is new drivers actually help bring new fans to the sport, or they offer the disaffected a reason to come back.  On Friday's the teams can only run a 3rd rookie driver in FP1 with the input of the 2 'lead drivers'.  This  is a longish one, bear with me:   
    • Driver 3: Must be a rookie to F1, never having driven an F1 car before.  Every team must bring a 3rd car and driver, this car may be liveried differently to the 2 main race cars allowing individual sponsorship for the driver.  Not massively different, ergo the colour scheme of the main team should remain but the livery can change to accommodate new sponsor logos. Fridays the 2 main drivers and the Rookie work on race set up in FP1 together.  In FP2 all drivers take to track and the rookies use this session to qualify at the end of the full session. (1.5 hours practice for all with 30 mins qualifying / 10 rookie cars immediately after FP2.)
      Leclerc, Albon & Russel
    • Rookie race on Saturday with 10 rookies in their own car just before main F1 qualifying, F1 qualifying is pushed back by one hour to accommodate.
    • Rookie's also qualify for the main Grand Prix with a 1.5 hour qualifying session as per the current format for all 30 cars. 
    • Driver 3 can only be contracted to a team for a maximum of 2 seasons.  At the end of season 2 they must either sign the driver to the main team or allow him to move to another team.  The team can promote rookie to main team and he will then score championship points at any part of the season but cannot then swap driver 3 back to rookie status.
    • Rookies DO NOT score championship points for main F1 only for their own title, they score the same points for sprint race and feature race.  EG: Driver 1 finishes 1st in Rookie race = 25 points, he finishes 4th on track at main F1 race (but 1st of all the rookies) he scores a further 25 points.  There is a "rookie championship" and "rookie of the year" ceremony at the end of the season.
    • Rookie podium takes place just after main F1 podium.
      Karting days for two of F1's top drivers
    • Teams cannot use rookie car in the event of a failure of main team car, rookie must participate in both races or their results from race 1 are cancelled out.  In the event of a crash in race 1, teams can rebuild car overnight with driver 3 starting at back of the grid.  (Imagine a couple of years ago having a Lando and a Leclerc starting 29th & 30th in a  3rd McLaren & 3rd Ferrari and the spark that could bring)
  • Governance: Teams have no say in how the rules are made, how the rules are changes, which circuits they visit or how the prize money is divvied up.  They have input into the engine direction but not the final say. The sole responsibility of running F1 falls to FOM and FIA. Whilst on the money, F1 should distribute more evenly and award more cash per point scored, so the larger teams still have a cash advantage but the starting point for each team is the same.
  • TV: F1 should return to terrestrial television with adverts as per the ITV deal of the 90's. Non-advert driven F1 is the sole domain of pay-tv.  Qualifying for F1 and the F1 race are the only live aspects for terrestrial with all other sessions / support races being shown exclusively by pay tv companies. 
  • Race attendance: This is a tough one as all the races I've been to have been by-and-large excellent.  There are those who would open up the sport a little more but I don't think that is necessary.  You don't get to meet the team or run around the pitch at a soccer match, you don't get into the changing rooms at athletics so I think the balance of exclusivity they have right.  The sport
    Empty stands worldwide 
    needs glamour, albeit a lot of the hangers-on I see on the grid of an F1 event I barely recognise.  Tickets 'could' be cheaper but I don't think the cost is the prohibiting factor in keeping people away, I believe it is the lack of competition and getting value. The new owners are visibly putting more effort into the fan experience but they should not hog all the nice extras for their own gain (their own travel company) but give a small 'pre sale' selection to the general public too. (Pitlane walks, track tours, hotlaps etc)  Looking at the empty stands all around the world, just tinkering with the cars won't do it, F1 must be more radical. 
  • Penalties: Make the penalty for an engine change championship point based.  Deduct x points for a gearbox, deduct xx points for an engine and stop these ludicrous grid penalties.  If team A has no points and they change a gearbox on the back of the grid, does anyone even care?
  • Make F1 sexy again: Tree hugging engines, no grid girls, cotton wool drivers not allowed to
Why ??
say anything controversial for fear of a backlash from their paymaster sponsors, circuits with acres of run off (fill them ALL with gravel!), all the PC bull that bores us in everyday life is NOT F1 and neither should it be part of it, sport is escapism not real life.  There is far too much PC which has crept into F1, and I know most fans yearn for it to return to being a sexy sport.  It must as a base feature gladiators, it should have sex appeal, it should have danger and it begging for some characters.  Think of Hunt's smoking/drinking antics, think of Ayrton's outrageous remarks about his competitors, think Nigel's incessant drama or Schumacher's almost cartoon villan  ruthlessness.  Lately we have Alonso's radio outbursts....and ....erm.....a whole load of beige with a dessert of vanilla.  Danny Ric is doing his best to make the paddock a
Breakfast of champions....
fun place, Lewis does his social media thing....but.....where are the characters?  F1 is crying out for real characters again, make them interesting and make them gladiatorial.  If Verstappen wants to shove Ocon for a bonehead move (and there is no doubt that's exactly what it was!) then let him?  Don't penalise him for showing some actual passion.  If Vettel wants to bawl / shout / swear on the radio, let him! This is not namby-pamby-Sunday driving, this is, or it should be Formula One motor racing where gladiators come to do battle with each other in the fastest, sexiest and most dangerous cars on the planet.  As it is, it is almost like a heavyweight boxing match where each fighter has to be nice to each other or the ref will award the round against him for wanting to beat the other human.  F1 to a large degree has been dehumanised, it has gone too far toward corporate and the fans are left scratching their heads and turning off their televisions.  Worse still, they aren't attending, they aren't engaging with the sport and there is no real vision as to how to make it better. Safety is not to be compromised but when a driver makes a mistake he should be punished, simple as that.  Oh, and whilst we're at it, wouldn't it be loads easier to detect which driver was which with their halo painted the same colour as their T-bar camera? Why are these no-brainers only seen by those not in the inner-sanctum of F1??
  • Refueling: NO.  100% NO.  NO.  It was garbage when it was reintroduced leading to pitstop passing, anything which aids artificial results (chewing gum tyres, DRS, refueling) should be stopped forthwith.  I recall with horror driver B cruising up being driver A and waiting and waiting for the pitstop to make the pass in the pitlane.  I don't mind pitlane passing now and again (Versappen / Leclerc Silverstone was fantastic) but not every single time.
So, there are my thoughts on fixing the current state of F1.  I have been bored to the point of falling asleep this season (France) and until Austria was genuinely in a slight state of panic. I work on the fringes of F1 and I happen to know as fact that the biggest event of the F1 season in Monaco was not well attended, and I mean really not well attended.  I've saw empty stands in Japan when a few short years ago I couldn't get a ticket, Singapore's disappearing or shrinking grandstands and the TV figures are dire - by any standards.  A radical rethink on the sport and drivers from countries currently not fielding drivers: The obvious USA, we have no Brazilian drivers, no Asian drivers (albeit Alex Albon is flying the flag for Thailand) no South Africans and only one driver of colour.  There are loads of other talented drivers out there, my 'radical' Friday / Rookie solution covers off a lot of F1's current issues and would reinvigorate fans from country's currently not interested in F1 to tune in if their driver is making an impact.  Look at Silverstone last weekend or any stand within 400 km of Holland.